Narcissists are people who have a grandiose sense of self-importance, crave admiration from others, and strive to achieve success and status. On the other hand, they desperately lack empathy, cannot stand criticism, and manipulate and lie to get what they want.
These narcissistic traits are documented in the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) affects between 0.5% and 1% of the population. However, narcissistic people have a strong drive for success, so you can often find them in leadership positions.
What are the signs that my boss is a narcissist?
Usually, bosses with narcissistic tendencies show the following traits:
- An exaggerated sense of self-esteem and self-centeredness, along with a need for constant admiration and praise from subordinates.
- Lack of empathy and difficulty with understanding how others feel.
- Taking credit for others' work, believing that they deserve special treatment, and using others for personal gain, which doesn't influence their grandiose self-image.
- They don't accept criticism, even constructive feedback, and see it as a personal attack. Such bosses expect constant praise.
- Narcissistic bosses prioritize their interests over the well-being of others.
Leaders with NPD have a negative impact on the team's dynamics. They create a culture of toxic leadership where the most talented individuals are afraid to speak up and share their opinions. Such bosses manipulate others for their own gain, making them feel inferior or even taking credit for someone's work.
Narcissistic bosses display their sense of entitlement, undermining the feeling of self-worth in employees. As a result, such bosses take a toll on employees' mental health, job satisfaction, and overall well-being.
What are the key traits of a boss with NPD?
Does your boss has features of narcissism? Here is a more detailed explanation of how such a boss acts at the workplace.
They value admiration above all
Narcissistic bosses surround themselves with people who shower them with compliments. The self-importance of any narcissist is based on the admiration of others, therefore, they crave praise from others.
Such bosses may praise themselves in public. They might ask a subordinate to prepare a presentation about their success and show it during the company meeting.
They lack empathy
A narcissistic boss doesn’t care about your problems. They couldn't care less that you struggle to complete the project on time or have personalized issues. This is the type of boss who will force you to come to work even if you are sick and share humiliating remarks if you don't.
They are aggressive
Non-narcissists can be aggressive as well. However, narcissistic bosses use aggression and manipulation to control employees and build a culture of fear. For example, they might raise their voice or publicly humiliate people who disagree with them. Their strategy is to intimidate the opponent and force him to do what he wants.
They have a strong sense of superiority
Bosses with NPD go out of their way to show that they are superior and have privileges. For instance, they may allow employees to book conference rooms but can kick everyone out anytime. Or, they might not allow subordinates to have a flexible schedule but can show up at work anytime they want.
They don't stand constructive criticism
Narcissist bosses never admit they're wrong. When someone shows their mistakes, they deny everything and gaslight or act aggressively towards anyone who brings them up.
For this reason, they cannot handle criticism. If you come up with a suggestion for process improvement or fixing a mistake your boss made, they are likely to reject everything and make you believe you are incompetent.
They want to be a hero
Bosses with narcissism have a constant need for praise. Thus, they will create situations where they can be a hero, even if they need to cause a problem and then resolve it. They want to be thanked and admired as much as possible.
During job interviews, they take credit for the company's growth of sales and profitability and present themselves in the best light.
They take credit for subordinates' ideas
Bosses with narcissism have fragile egos and need constant praise. To get it, they will pass off your work as their own without hesitation. They don't care about workplace relationships or morality - such issues never arise in their head. His vision is crystal clear: he is the boss, therefore, he owns all the results of your work.
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How to deal with a narcissistic boss?
Do you understand that your boss is a narcissist, but aren't ready to move on right now? Here are some strategies to help your well-being and set boundaries:
- Make compliments. Narcissistic bosses adore attention and enjoy feeling admired. Use every occasion to point out their strengths and achievements and praise their competency. Don't be overly flattering, though - the best strategy is to be respectful and diplomatic.
- Set boundaries. Bosses with narcissism often invade your private space. They can force you to work overtime, text you at 1 AM, and so on. Learn to say "no" firmly and politely. Be ready that you will need to keep protecting these boundaries.
- Document everything. Such bosses tend to act abusive and then forget about their words and actions. They make you doubt your own competence - and even your sanity. To avoid this, document all your interactions. If asked to complete a task, send them a confirmation email. Take screenshots of your correspondence in messengers. Thus, your boss won't be able to go back on their words, and if they act abusive, you'll be able to defend yourself.
- Don't challenge your boss. The worst thing you can do is to criticize, challenge, or undermine your boss's authority. If you do it, they will react aggressively and make your life in the company unbearable. The best strategy is to stay neutral.
- Be confident. Narcissists are bossy, judgmental, and arrogant. To cope with their pressure, build your own confidence and seek support from loved ones. If working with a narcissist is too emotionally draining, seek outside support, such as therapy or counseling.
- Find a hobby. Working with a narcissist can stress you out. To cope, you will need to take care of your well-being and control your emotions. To do it, start a hobby and do something you really enjoy after work. Prioritize exercise, mental health, and other activities that bring you joy and help relieve stress.